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THE TRINITY FLOWER 


AND OTHER STORIES 






9 


TRINITY FLOWER. 


THE TRINITY FLOWER 


AND OTHER STORIES 


7^^JULIANA HORATIA EWING 


Illustrated by Amy S acker 



BOSTON 

JOSEPH KNIGHT COMPANY 
1897 


A -.r\ 

, lUL 851896) 


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Copyright, i8qb 
By Joseph Knight Company 


Colontal ^9rfss : 

C. H. Simonds & Co., Boston. Mass., U.S.A. 
Electrotyped by Geo. C. Scott & Sons 


CONTENTS 

I. The Trinity Flower . . . . i 

II. Snap-Dragons, a Tale of Christmas 

Eve ....... 25 

III. Tiny’s Tricks and Toby’s Tricks . 71 




PAGE 

“‘Give this to thy Master. It is the Root of 

THE Trinity Flower’” . . . Frontispiece 

“ He overheard two boys disputing about the 

theft” 3 

‘“In two successive years have the apples been 

STOLEN ’ ” 6 

‘“I PRAY THEE, SEND SUNSHINE, THAT IT MAY 

BLOSSOM SPEEDILY ’ ” l8 

“ At the bottom of the stairs he lingered 

AGAIN ” 39 

“ A TALL, SANDY, ENERGETIC YOUNG MAN, WHO 

CARRIED HIS OWN BAG FROM THE RAILWAY” . 47 

“‘Then you like music.?’ said the hot-tempered 

GENTLEMAN 49 

“The HOT-TEMPERED GENTLEMAN WARMED HIS 

COAT TAILS AT THE VULE LOG ” . . -55 

“‘Put your lovely black nose in my lap’” . 72 

“‘This would tempt me to think your mamma 

A very foolish person ’” . . -77 


J. 


3 



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THE TRINITY FLOWER 



THE TRINITY FLOWER 


A LEGEND 

“ Break forth, my lips, in praise, and own 
The wiser love severely kind ; 

Since, richer for its chastening grown, 

I see, whereas I once was blind.” 

— The Clear Vision^ J. G. Whittier. 

In days of yore there was once a certain her- 
mit, who dwelt in a cell, which he had fashioned 
for himself from a natural cave in the side of a 
hill. 

Now this hermit had a great love for flowers, 
and was, moreover, learned in the virtues of herbs 
and in that great mystery of healing which lies 
hidden among the green things of God. And 
so it came to pass that the country people from 
all parts came to him for the simples which grew 
in the little garden which he had made before 
his cell. And as his fame spread, and more 
people came to him, he added more and more to 


2 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


the plat which he had reclaimed from the waste 
land around. 

But after many years there came a Spring 
when the colors of the flowers seemed paler to 
the hermit than they used to be ; and as Summer 
drew on, their shapes became indistinct, and he 
mistook one plant for another ; and when Autumn 
came, he told them by their various scents, and 
by their form, rather than by sight ; and when 
the flowers were gone, and Winter had come, 
the hermit was quite blind. 

Now in the hamlet below there lived a boy 
who had become known to the hermit on this 
manner. On the edge of the hermit’s garden 
there grew two crab-trees, from the fruit of which 
he made every year a certain confection which 
was very grateful to the sick. One year many 
of these crab-apples were stolen, and the sick 
folk of the hamlet had very little conserve. So 
the following year, as the fruit was ripening, the 
hermit spoke every day to ^ those who came to 
his cell, saying : 

I pray you, good people, to make it known 
that he who robs these crabs, robs not me alone, 
which is dishonest, but the sick, which is in- 
human.” 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


3 


And yet once more the crab -apples were 
taken. 

The following' evening, as the hermit sat on 
the side of the hill, he overheard two boys dis- 
puting about the theft. 



It must either have been a very big man, or 
a small boy, to do it, ” said one. “ So I say, 
and I have my reason.” 

“ And what is thy reason. Master Wiseacre ? ” 
asked the other. 

The fruit is too high to be plucked except 


4 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


by a very big man, ” said the first boy. “ And 
the branches are not strong enough for any but 
a child to climb.” 

Canst thou think of no other way to rob an 
apple-tree but by standing a-tiptoe, or climbing 
up to the apples, when they should come down 
to thee.?” said the second boy. “Truly thy 
head will never save thy heels ; but here ’s a 
riddle for thee ; 

“ Riddle me riddle me re, 

Four big brothers are we ; 

We gather the fruit, but climb never a tree. 

“Who are they .? ” 

“Four tall robbers, I suppose,” said the 
other. 

“ Tush ! ” cried his comrade. “ They are the 
four winds ; and when they whistle, down falls 
the ripest. But others can shake beside the 
winds, as I will show thee if thou hast any 
doubts in the matter.” 

And, as he spoke, he sprang to catch the other 
boy, who ran from him ; and they chased each 
other down the hill, and the hermit heard no 
more. 

But as he turned to go home he said : “ The 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


5 


thief was not far away when thou stoodst near. 
Nevertheless, 1 will have patience. It needs not 
that I should go to seek thee, for what saith the 
Scripture.^ T/ijy s/n wiW find thee out.” And 
he made conserve of such apples as were left, 
and said nothing. 

Now, after a certain time, a plague broke out 
in the hamlet ; and it was so sore, and there were 
so few to nurse the many who were sick, that, 
though it was not the wont of the hermit ever to 
leave his place, yet in their need he came down 
and ministered to the people in the village. 
And one day, as he passed a certain house, he 
heard- moans from within, and entering, he saw 
lying upon the bed a boy who tossed and moaned 
in fever, and cried out miserably that his throat 
was parched and burning. And wheft the her- 
mit looked upon his face, behold it was the boy 
who had given the riddle of the four winds upon 
the side of the hill. 

Then the hermit fed him with some of the 
confection which he had with him, and it was so 
grateful to the boy’s parched palate, that he 
thanked and blessed the hermit aloud, and 
prayed him to leave a morsel of it behind, to 
soothe his torments in the night. 


6 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


Then said the hermit : “ My Son, I would that 
I had more of this confection, for the sake of 
others as well as for thee. But indeed I have 
only two trees which bear the fruit whereof 



this is made ; and in two successive years have 
the apples been stolen by some thief, thereby 
robbing not only me, which is dishonest, but the 
poor, which is inhuman.” 

Then the boy’s theft came back to his mind, 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. J 

and he burst into tears, and cried : “ My Father, 
I took the crab-apples ! ” 

And after awhile he recovered his health ; the 
plague also abated in the hamlet, and the her- 
mit went back to his cell. But the boy would 
thenceforth never leave him, always wishing to 
show his penitence and gratitude. And, though 
the hermit sent him away, he ever returned, 
saying : 

“ Of what avail is it to drive me from thee, 
since I am resolved to serve thee, even as Sam- 
uel served Eli, and Timothy ministered unto St. 
Paul .? ” 

But the hermit said : “ My rule is to live 
alone, and without companions ; wherefore be- 
gone.” 

And when the boy still came, he drove him 
from the garden. 

Then the boy wandered far and wide, over 
moor and bog, and gathered rare plants and 
herbs, and laid them down near the hermit’s 
cell. And when the hermit was inside, the boy 
came into the garden, and gathered the stones 
and swept the paths, and tied up such plants 
as were drooping, and did all neatly and well, 
for he was a quick and skilful lad. And when 
the hermit said ; 


8 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


“ Thou hast done well, and I thank thee ; but 
now begone,” he only answered : 

“What avails it, when I am resolved to serve 
thee.?” 

So at last there came a day when the hermit 
said : “ It may be that it is ordained ; wherefore 
abide, my Son.” 

And the boy answered : “ Even so, for I am 
resolved to serve thee.” 

Thus he remained. And thenceforward the 
hermit’s garden throve as it had never thriven 
before. For, though he had skill, the hermit 
was old and feeble ; but the boy was young and 
active, and he worked hard, and it was to him a 
labor of love. And, being a clever boy, he 
quickly knew the names and properties of the 
plants as well as the hermit himself. And 
when he was not working, he would go far 
afield to seek for new herbs. And he always 
returned to the village at night. 

Now when the hermit’s sight began to fail, 
the boy put him right if he mistook one plant 
for another ; and when the hermit became quite 
blind, he relied completely upon the boy to 
gather for him the herbs that he wanted. And 
when anything new was planted, the boy led the 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


9 


old man to the spot, that he might know that it 
was so many paces in such a direction from the 
cell, and might feel the shape and texture of the 
leaves, and learn its scent. And through the 
skill and knowledge of the boy, the hermit was 
in no wise hindered from preparing his accus- 
tomed remedies, for he knew the names and vir- 
tues of the herbs, and where every plant grew. 
And when the sun shone, the boy would guide 
his master’s steps into the garden, and would 
lead him up to certain flowers ; but to those 
which had a perfume of their own the old man 
could go without help, being guided by the 
scent. And as he fingered their leaves and 
breathed their fragrance, he would say : Blessed 
be God for every herb of the field, but thrice 
blessed for those that smell.” 

And at the end of the garden was set a bush 
of rosemary. For,” said the hermit, *‘to this 
we must all come.” Because rosemary is the 
herb they scatter over the dead. And he knew 
where almost everything grew, and what he did 
not know the boy told him. 

Yet for all this, and though he had embraced 
poverty and solitude with joy, in the service of 
God and man, yet so bitter was blindness to 


lO 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


him, that he bewailed the loss of his sight, with 
a grief that never lessened. 

“For,” said he, “if it had pleased our Lord 
to send me any other affliction, such as a con- 
tinual pain or a consuming sickness, I would 
have borne it gladly, seeing it would have left 
me free to see these herbs, which I use for the 
benefit of the poor. But now the sick suffer 
through my blindness, and to this boy also I am 
a continual burden.” 

And when the boy called him at the hours of 
prayer, saying : “ My Father, it is now time for 
the Nones office, for the marigold is closing,” 
or, “ The Vespers bell will soon sound from the 
valley, for the bindweed bells are folded,” and 
the hermit recited the appointed prayers, he 
always added : 

“ I beseech Thee take away my blindness, as 
Thou didst heal Thy serv^ant the son of 
Timaeus.” 

And as the boy and he sorted herbs, he 
cried : 

“ Is there no balm in Gilead ” 

And the boy answered : “ The balm of Gilead 
grows six full paces from the gate, my Father.” 

But the hermit said : “ I spoke in a figure, my 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


I 


Son. I meant not that herb. But, alas ! Is 
there no remedy to heal the physician ? No 
cure for the curer .? ” 

And the boy’s heart grew heavier and heavier 
day by day, because of the hermit’s grief.- For 
he loved him. 

Now, one morning, as the boy came up from 
the village, the hermit met him, groping pain- 
fully with his hands, but with joy in his counte- 
nance, and he said : Is that thy step, my Son ? 
Come in, for I have somewhat to tell thee.” 

And he said : “A vision has been vouchsafed 
to me, even a dream. Moreover, I believe that 
there shall be a cure for my blindness.” 

Then the boy was glad, and begged of the 
hermit to relate his dream, which he did as fol- 
lows : 

“ I dreamed, and behold I stood in the gar- 
den — thou also with me — and many people 
were gathered at the gate, to whom, with thy 
help, I gave herbs of healing in such fashion as 
I have been able since this blindness came upon 
me. And when they were gone, I smote upon 
my forehead, and said, ‘ Where is the herb that 
shall heal my affliction .? ’ And a voice beside 
me said, ‘ Here, my Son.’ And I cried to thee. 


12 THE TRINITY FLOWER. 

‘ Who spoke ? ’ And thou saidst, ‘ It is a man 
in pilgrim’s weeds, and lo, he hath a strange 
flower in his hand.’ Then said the Pilgrim, ‘It 
is a Trinity Pdovver. Moreover, I suppose that 
when thou hast it, thou wilt see clearly.’ Then 
I thought that thou didst take the flower from 
the Pilgrim and put it in my hand. And lo, 
my eyes were opened, and I saw clearly. And 
I knew the Pilgrim’s face, though where I have 
seen him I cannot yet recall. But I believed 
him to be Raphael the Archangel — he who led 
Tobias, and gave sight to his father. And even 
as it came to me to know him, he vanished ; and 
I saw him no more.” 

“And what was the Trinity Flower like, my 
Father asked the boy. 

“It was about the size of Herb Paris, my 
Son,” replied the hermit. “ But, instead of 
being fourfold every way, it numbered the 
mystic Three. Every part was threefold. The 
leaves were three, the petals three, the sepals 
three. The flower was snow-white, but on 
each of the three parts it was stained with 
crimson stripes, like white garments dyed in 
blood.” * 


* Trillium erythrocarpum. North America. 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


13 


Then the boy started up, saying : “ If there be 
such a plant on the earth I will find it for thee.” 

But the hermit laid his hand on him, and 
said, “ Nay, my Son, leave me not, for I have 
need of thee. And the flower will come yet, 
and then I shall see.” 

And all day long the old man murmured to 
himself : “ Then I shall see.” 

“ And didst thou see me, and the garden, in 
thy dream, my father ? ” asked the boy. 

‘‘Ay, that I did, my Son. And I meant to 
say to thee that it much pleaseth me that thou 
art grown so well, and of such a strangely fair 
countenance. Also the garden is such as I 
have never before beheld it, which must needs 
be due to thy care. But wherefore didst thou 
not tell me of those fair palms that have grown 
where the thorn hedge was wont to be ? I was 
just stretching out my hand for some, when I 
awoke.” 

“ There are no palms there, my Father,” said 
the boy. 

“ Now, indeed it is thy youth that makes 
thee so little observant,” said the hermit. 
“However, I pardon thee, if it were only for 
that good thought which moved thee to plant a 


14 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


yew beyond the rosemary-bush ; seeing that 
the yew is the emblem of eternal life, which 
lies beyond the grave.” 

But the boy said : “ There is no yew there, 
my Father.” 

“ Have I not seen it, even in a vision } ” cried 
the hermit. “Thou wilt say next that all the 
borders are not set with heartsease, which 
indeed must be through thy industry ; and 
whence they come I know not, but they are 
most rare and beautiful, and my eyes long sore 
to see them again.” 

“ Alas, my Father ! ” cried the boy, “ the 
borders are set with rue, and there are but a 
few clumps of heartsease here and there.” 

“ Could I forget what I saw in an hour ? 
asked the old man, angrily. “ And did not the 
holy Raphael himself point to them, saying : 
* Blessed are the eyes that behold this garden, 
where the borders are set with heartsease, and 
the hedges crowned with palm ! ’ But thou 
wouldst know better than an archangel, for- 
sooth.” 

Then the boy wept ; and when the hermit 
heard him weeping, he put his arm round him 
and said : 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


5 


** Weep not, my dear Son. And I pray thee, 
pardon me that I spoke harshly to thee. For 
indeed I am ill-tempered by reason of my in- 
hrmities ; and as for thee, God will reward thee 
for thy goodness to me, as I never can. More- 
over, I believe it is thy modesty, which is as 
great as thy goodness, that hath hindered thee 
from telling me of all that thou hast done for 
my garden, even to those fair and sweet ever- 
lasting flowers, the like of which I never saw 
before, which thou hast set in the east border, 
and where even now I hear the bees humming 
in the sun.” 

Then the boy looked sadly out into the 
garden, and answered : 

“ I cannot lie to thee. There are no ever- 
lasting flowers. It is the flowers of the thyme 
in which the bees are rioting. And in the 
hedge bottom there creepeth the bitter-sweet.” 

But the hermit heard him not. He had 
groped his way out into the sunshine, and 
wandered up and down the walks, murmuring 
to himself, “Then I shall see.” 

Now when the Summer was past, one Autumn 
morning there came to the garden gate a man 
in pilgrim’s weeds ; and when he saw the boy 


1 6 THE TRINITY FLOWER. 

he beckoned to him, and, giving him a small 
tuber root, he said : 

“ Give this to thy master. It is the root of 
the Trinity Flower.” 

And he passed on down towards the valley. 

Then the boy ran hastily to the hermit ; and 
when he had told him, and given him the root, 
he said : 

‘^The face of the pilgrim is known to me 
also, O my Father! For I remember when I 
lay sick of the plague, that ever it seemed to 
me as if a shadowy figure passed in and out, 
and went up and down the streets, and his face 
was as the face of this pilgrim. But — I can- 
not deceive thee — methought it was the Angel 
of Death.” 

Then the hermit mused ; and, after a little 
space, he answered : 

“ It was then also that I saw him. I remem- 
ber now. Nevertheless, let us plant the root, 
and abide what God shall send.” 

And thus they did. 

And as the Autumn and Winter went by, 
the hermit became very feeble, but the boy 
constantly cheered him, saying, “ Patience, my 
Father. Thou shalt see yet I ” 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


17 


But the hermit replied : ** My Son, I repent 
me that I have not been patient under affliction. 
Morever, I have set thee an ill example, in that 
I have murmured at that which God — Who 
knowest best — ordained for me.” 

And when the boy oftimes repeated, “ Thou 
shalt yet see, ” the hermit answered, If God 
will. When God will. As God will.” 

And when he said the prayers for the Hours, 
he no longer added what he had added before- 
time, but evermore repeated : If Thou wilt. 
When Thou wilt. As'Thou wilt.” 

And so the Winter passed ; and when the 
snow lay on the ground the boy and the hermit 
talked of the garden ; and the boy no longer 
contradicted the old man; though he spoke con- 
tinually of the heartsease, and the everlasting 
flowers, and the palm. For he said : “ When 
Spring comes I may be able to get these plants, 
and fit the garden to his vision.” 

And at length the Spring came. And with it 
rose the Trinity Flower. And when the leaves 
unfolded, they were three, as the hermit had 
said. Then the boy was wild with joy and 
with impatience. And when the sun shone for 
two days together, he would kneel by the flower, 


i8 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


and say : “ I pray thee, Lord, send showers, that 
it may wax apace.” And when it rained, he 
said : “ I pray Thee, send sunshine, that it may 
blossom speedily.” For he knew not what to 



ask. And he danced about the hermit and cried : 
“ Soon shalt thou see.” 

But the hermit trembled, and said : “ Not as I 
will, but as Thou wilt ! ” 

And so the bud formed. And at length one 
evening, before he went down to the hamlet, the 



THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


19 


boy came to the hermit and said : “ The bud is 
almost breaking, my Father. To-morrow thou 
shalt see.” 

Th'en the hermit moved his hands till he laid 
them on the boy’s head, and he said : 

“ The Lord repay thee sevenfold for all thou 
hast done for me, dear child. And now I pray 
thee, my Son, give me thy pardon for all in 
which I have sinned against thee by word or 
deed, for indeed my thoughts of thee have ever 
been tender.” And, when the boy wept, the 
hermit still pressed him, till he said that he for- 
gave him. And, as they unwillingly parted, the 
hermit said : “ I pray thee, dear Son, to remem- 
ber that, though late, I conformed myself to the 
will of God.” 

Saying which, the hermit went to his cell, and 
the boy returned to the village. 

But so great was his anxiety, that he could 
not rest ; and he returned to the garden ere it 
was light, and sat by the flower till the dawn. 

And with the first dim light he saw that the 
Trinity Flower was in bloom. And as the her- 
mit had said, it was white, and stained with 
crimson as with blood. 

Then the boy shed tears of joy, and he 


20 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


plucked the flower and ran into the hermit’s cell, 
where the hermit lay very still upon his couch. 
And the boy said : “ I will not disturb him. 
When he wakes he will find the flower.” And 
he went out and sat down outside the cell and 
waited. And, being weary as he waited, he fell 
asleep. 

Now before sunrise, whilst it was yet early, 
he was awakened by the voice of the hermit cry- 
ing, “ My Son, my dear Son ! ” and he jumped 
up, saying, “ My Father ! ” 

But as he spoke the hermit passed him. And 
as he passed he turned, and the boy saw that his 
eyes were open. And the hermit fixed them 
long and tenderly on him. 

Then the boy cried : “ Ah, tell me, my Father, 
dost thou see ? ” 

And he answered : see noiv! ” and so passed 

on down the walk. 

And as he went through the garden, in the 
still dawn, the boy trembled, for the hermit’s 
footsteps gave no sound. And he passed be- 
yond the rosemary-bush, and came not again. 

And when the day wore on, and the hermit 
did not return, the boy went into his cell. 

Without, the sunshine dried the dew from 


THE TRINITY FLOWER. 


21 


paths on which the hermit’s feet had left no 
prints, and cherished the spring flowers bursting 
into bloom. But within, the hermit’s dead body 
lay stretched upon his pallet, and the Trinity 
Flower was in his hand. 



SNAP-DRAGONS 


A TALE OF CHRISTMAS EVE 





SNAP-DRAGONS 


A TALE OF CHRISTMAS EVE 


Mr. and Mrs. Skratdj. 

Once upon a time there lived a certain family 
of the name of Skratdj. (It has a Russian or 
Polish look, and yet they most certainly lived in 
England.) They were remarkable for the follow- 
ing peculiarity : They seldom seriously quar- 
relled, but they never agreed about anything. 
It is hard to say whether it were more painful 
for their friends to hear them constantly contra- 
dicting each other, or gratifying to discover that 
it “meant nothing,” and was “only their way.” 

It began with the father and mother. They 
were a worthy couple, and really attached to 
each other. They had a habit of contradicting 
each other’s statements, and opposing each 
other’s opinions, which, though mutually under- 
stood and allowed for in private, was most try- 
25 


26 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


ing to the bystanders in public. If one related 
an anecdote, the other would break in with half 
a dozen corrections of trivial details of no inter- 
est or importance to any one, the speakers in- 
cluded. For instance : Suppose the two dining 
in a strange house, and Mrs. Skratdj seated by 
the host, and contributing to the small talk of 
the dinner-table. Thus : 

“ Oh, yes. Very changeable weather indeed. 
It looked quite promising yesterday morning in 
the town, but it began to rain at noon.” 

“A quarter -past eleven, my dear,” Mr. 
Skratdj 's voice would be heard to say from sev- 
eral chairs down, in the corrective tones of a 
husband and father ; “ and really, my dear, so 
far from being a promising morning, I must say 
it looked about as threatening as it well could. 
Your memory is not always accurate in small 
matters, my love.” 

But Mrs. Skratdj had not been a wife and a 
mother for fifteen years, to be snuffed out at 
one snap of the marital snuffers. As Mr. 
Skratdj leaned forward in his chair, she leaned 
forward in hers, and defended herself across the 
intervening couples. 

“ Why, my dear Mr. Skratdj, you said your- 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 2 J 

self the weather had not been so promising for 
a week.” 

“ What I said, my dear, pardon me, was that 
the barometer was higher than it had been for 
a week. But, as you might have observed if 
these details were in your line, my love, which 
they are not, the rise was extraordinarily rapid, 
and there is no surer sign of unsettled weather. 
But Mrs. Skratdj is apt to forget these unim- 
portant trifles,” he added, with a comprehensive 
smile round the dinner - table ; “ her thoughts 
are very properly absorbed by the more impor- 
tant domestic questions of the nursery.” 

“ Now I think that ’s rather unfair on Mr. 
Skratdj’s part,” Mrs. Skratdj would chirp, with 
a smile quite as affable and as general as her 
husband’s. “ I’m sure he’s quite as forgetful 
and inaccurate as / am. And I don’t think my 
memory is at all a bad one,” 

“ You forgot the dinner-hour when we were 
going out to dine last week, nevertheless,” said 
Mr. Skratdj. 

And you couldn’t help me when I asked 
you,” was the sprightly retort. “And I’m sure 
it’s not like you to forget anything about din- 
ner y my dear.” 


28 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


“The letter was addressed to you,” said Mr. 
Skratdj. 

“ I sent it to you by Jemima,” said Mrs. 
Skratdj. 

“ I didn’t read it,” said Mr. Skratdj. 

“ Well, you burnt it,” said Mrs. Skratdj ; 
“ and, as I always say, there ’s nothing more 
foolish than burning a letter of invitation before 
the day, for one is certain to forget.” 

“ I’ve no doubt you always do say it,” Mr. 
Skratdj remarked, with a smile, “ but I certainly 
never remember to have heard the observation 
from your lips, my love.” 

“ Whose memory ’s in fault there ? ” asked 
Mrs. Skratdj, triumphantly ; and as at this point 
the ladies rose, Mrs. Skratdj had the last word. 

Indeed, as may be gathered from this conver- 
sation, Mrs. Skratdj was quite able to defend 
herself. When she was yet a bride, and young 
and timid, she used to collapse when Mr. 
Skratdj contradicted her statements, and set 
her stories straight in public. Then she hardly 
ever opened her lips without disappearing under 
the domestic extinguisher. But in the course 
of fifteen years she had learned that Mr. 
Skratdj ’s bark was a great deal worse than his 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


29 


bite. (If, indeed, he had a bite at all.) Thus 
snubs that made other people’s ears tingle, had 
no effect whatever on the lady to whom they 
were addressed, for she knew exactly what they 
were worth, and had by this time become fairly 
adept at snapping in return. In the days when 
she succumbed she was occasionally unhappy, 
but now she and her husband understood each 
other, and, having agreed to differ, they, unfor- 
tunately, agreed also to differ in public. 

Indeed, it was the bystanders who had the 
worst of it on these occasions. To the worthy 
couple themselves the habit had become second 
nature, and in no way affected the friendly tenor 
of their domestic relations. They would inter- 
fere with each other’s conversation, contradict- 
ing assertions, and disputing conclusions for a 
whole evening ; and then, when all the world 
and his wife thought that these ceaseless sparks 
of bickering must blaze up into a flaming quarrel 
as soon as they were alone, they would bowl 
amicably home in a cab, criticizing the friends 
who were commenting upon them, and as little 
agreed about the events of the evening as about 
the details of any other events whatever. 

Yes ; the bystanders certainly had the worst 


30 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


of it. Those who were near wished themselves 
anywhere else, especially when appealed to. 
Those who were at a distance did not mind so 
much. A domestic squabble at a certain distance 
is interesting, like an engagement viewed from a 
point beyond the range of guns. In such a po- 
sition one may some day be placed oneself ! 
Moreover, it gives a touch of excitement to a 
dull evening to be able to say sotto voce to one’s 
neighbor, “ Do listen ! The Skratdjs are at it 
again ! ” Their unmarried friends thought a 
terrible abyss of tyranny and aggravation must 
lie beneath it all, and blessed their stars that 
they were still single and able to tell a tale their 
own way. The married ones had more idea of 
how it really was, and wished in the name of 
common sense and good taste that Skratdj and 
his wife would not make fools of themselves. 

So it went on, however ; and so, I suppose, it 
goes on still, for not many bad habits are cured 
in middle age. 

On certain questions of comparative speaking 
their views were never identical. Such as the 
temperature being hot or cold, things being light 
or dark, the apple-tarts being sweet or sour. So 
one day Mr. Skratdj came into the room, rubbing 


JbNAP - DRAGONS. 3 1 

his hands, and planting himself at the fire with 
“ Bitterly cold it is to-day, to be sure.” 

^‘Why, my dear William,” said Mrs. Skratdj, 
“ I ’m sure you must have got a cold ; I feel a 
fire quite oppressive myself.” 

“ You were wishing you ’d a sealskin jacket 
yesterday, when it wasn ’t half as cold as it is 
today,” said Mr. Skratdj. 

“ My dear William ! Why, the children were 
shivering the whole day, sInd the wind was in the 
north.” 

Due east, Mrs. Skratdj.” ' 

“ I know by the srnoke, ” said Mrs. Skratdj, 
softly, but decidedly. 

“ I fancy I can tell an east wind when I feel 
it,” said Mr. Skratdj, jocosely, to the company. 

“ I told Jemima to look at the weathercock,” 
murmured Mrs. Skratdj. 

“ I don’t care a fig for Jemima,” said her hus- 
band. 

On another occasion Mrs. Skratdj and a lady 
friend were conversing. 

. . We met him at the Smiths’ — a 

gentlemanlike, agreeable man, about forty,” said 
Mrs. Skratdj, in reference to some mattdf inter- 
esting to both ladies. 


32 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


“ Not a day over thirty - five,” said Mr. 
Skratdj, from behind his newspaper. 

“ Why, my dear William, his hair ’s gray,” 
said Mrs. Skratdj. 

“ Plenty of men are gray at thirty,” said Mr. 
Skratdj. I knew a man who was gray at 
twenty-five.” 

“ Well, forty or thirty-five, it does n’t much 
matter,” said Mrs. Skratdj, about to resume her 
narration. 

“ Five years matters a good deal to most 
people at thirty-five,” said Mr. Skratdj, as he 
walked towards the door. “ They would make 
a remarkable difference to me, I know ; ” and 
with a jocular air Mr. Skratdj departed, and 
Mrs. Skratdj had the rest of the ancedote her 
own way. 


The Little Skratdjs. 

The Spirit of Contradiction finds a place in 
most nurseries, though to a very varying degree 
in different ones. Children snap and snarl by 
nature, like young puppies ; and most of us can 
remember taking part in some such spirited dia- 
logues as the following : 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


33 


( “I will.” ( “You daren’t.” 

( “ You can’t.” ( “ I dare.” 

I “ You shall.” ( “ I ’ll tell Mamma.” 

1 “ I won’t.” ( “ I don’t care if you do.” 

It is the part of wise parents to repress these 
squibs and crackers of juvenile contention, and 
to enforce that slowly learned lesson, that in this 
world one must often “pass over” and “put 
up with ” things in other people, being oneself 
by no means perfect. Also that it is a kindness, 
and almost a duty, to let people think and say 
and do things in their own way occasionally. 

But even if Mr. and Mrs. Skratdj had ever 
thought of teaching all this to their children, it 
must be confessed that the lesson would not 
have come with a good grace from either of them, 
since they snapped and snarled between them- 
selves as much or more than their children in 
the nursery. 

The two elders were the leaders in the nursery 
squabbles. Between these, a boy and a girl, a 
ceaseless war of words was waged from morning 
to night. And as neither of them lacked ready 
wit, and both were in constant practice, the art 
of snapping was cultivated by them to the 
highest pitch. 


34 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


It began at breakfast, if not sooner. 

“You ’ve taken my chair.” 

“ It ’s not your chair.” 

“ You know it ’s the one I like, and it was in 
my place.” 

“ How do you know it was in your place 1 ” 
“Nevermind. I do know.” 

“ No, you don’t.” 

“ Yes, I do.” 

“ Suppose I say it was in my place.” 

“You can’t, for it was n’t.” 

“ I can, if I like.” 

“Well, was it } ” 

“ I sha’ n’t tell you.” 

“ Ah ! that shows it was n’t.” 

“ No, it does n’t.” 

“Yes, it does.” 

Etc., etc., etc. 

The direction of their daily walks was a fruit- 
ful subject of difference of opinion. 

“ Let ’s go on the Common to-day. Nurse.?” 

“ Oh, don’t let ’s go there ; we ’re always going 
on the Common.” 

“ I ’m sure we ’re not. We ’ve not been 
there for ever so long.” 

“ Oh, what a story ! We were there on 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


35 


Wednesday. Let ’s go down Gipsey Lane. We 
never go down Gipsey Lane.” 

“ Why, we ’re always going down Gipsey 
Lane. And there ’s nothing to see there.” 

“ I don’t care. I won’t go on the Common, 
and I shall go and get papa to say we ’re to go 
down Gips*ey Lane. I can run faster than you.” 

‘‘That ’s very sneaking ; but I don’t care.” 

“ Papa ! Papa ! Polly ’s called me a sneak.” 

“No, I did n’t, Papa.” 

“ You did.” 

“No, I did n’t. I only said it was sneaking 
of you to say you ’d run faster than me, and get 
Papa to say we were to go down Gipsey Lane.” 

“ Then you did call him sneaking,” said Mr. 
Skratdj. “And you ’re a very naughty, ill-man- 
nered little girl. You ’re getting very trouble- 
some, Polly, and I shall have to send you to 
school, where you ’ll be kept in order. Go 
where your brother wishes at once.” 

For Polly and her brother had reached an age 
when it was convenient, if possible, to throw the 
blame of all nursery differences on Polly. In 
families where domestic discipline is rather frac- 
tious than firm, there comes a stage when the 
girls almost invariably go to the wall, because 


36 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


they will stand snubbing, and the boys will not. 
Domestic authority, like some other powers, is 
apt to be magnified on the weaker class. 

But Mr. Skratdj would not always listen even 
to Harry. 

“ If you don’t give it me back directly, I ’ll 
tell about your eating the two magnum-bonums 
in the kitchen garden on Sunday,” said Master 
Harry, on one occasion. 

“ ‘ Telltale tit! 

Your tongue shall be slit, 

And every dog in the town shall have a little bit,’ 
quoted his sister. 

“Ah! You’ve called me a telltale. Now 
I ’ll go and tell papa. You got into a fine scrape 
for calling me names the other day.” 

“Go, then! I don’t care.” 

“You would n’t like me to go, I know.” 

“You dare n’t. That ’s what it is.” 

“ I dare.” 

“ Then why don’t you ? ” 

“ Oh, I am going ; but you ’ll see what will be 
the end of it.” 

Polly, however, had her own reasons for re- 
maining stolid, and Harry started. But when 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


37 


he reached the landing he paused. Mr. Skratdj 
had especially announced that morning that he 
did not wish to be disturbed, and though he was 
a favorite, Harry had no desire to invade the 
dining-room at this crisis. So he returned to 
the nursery, and said, with a magnanimous air, 
“ I don’t want to get you into a scrape, Polly. 
If you ’ll beg my pardon I won’t go.” 

“I’m sure I sha’ n’t,” said Polly, who was 
equally well informed as to the position of affairs 
at headquarters. “Go, if you dare.” 

“ I won’t if you want me not,” said Harry, 
discreetly waiving the question of apologies. 

“ But I ’d rather you went,” said the obdurate 
Polly. “You ’re always telling tales. Go and 
tell now, if you’re not afraid.” 

So Harry went. But at the bottom of the 
stairs he lingered again, and was meditating how 
to return with most credit to his dignity, when 
Polly’s face appeared through the banisters, 
and Polly’s sharp tongue goaded him on. 

“Ah! I see you. You’re stopping. You 
dare n’t go.” 

“ I dare,” said Harry ; and at last he went. 

As he turned the handle of the door, Mr. 
Skratdj turned round. 


38 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


“Please, Papa — ” Harry began. 

“Get laway with you!” cried Mr. Skratdj. 
“ Did n’t I tell you I was not to be disturbed 
this morning ? What an extraor — ” 

But Harry had shut the door, and withdrawn 
precipitately. 

Once outside, he returned to the nursery with 
dignified steps, and an air of apparent satisfac- 
tion, saying : 

“You ’re to give me the bricks, please.” 

“ Who says so ” 

“ Why, who should say so ? Where have I 
been, pray.^” 

“ I don’t know, and I don’t care.” 

“ I ’ve been to Papa. There ! ” 

“ Did he say I was to give up the bricks ? ” 

“ I ’ve told you.” 

“ No, you ’ve not.” 

“ I sha’ n’t tell you any more.” 

“ Then I ’ll go to Papa and ask.” 

“ Go by all means.” 

“ I won’t if you ’ll tell me truly.” 

“ I sha’ n’t tell you anything. Go and ask, if 
you dare,” said Harry, only too glad to have the 
tables turned. 

Polly’s expedition met with the same fate, and 




SNAP - DRAGONS. 


41 


she attempted to cover her retreat in a similar 
manner. 

** Ah ! you did n’t tell.” 

“ I don’t believe you asked Papa.” 

“ Don’t you ? Very well ! ” 

Well, did you > ” 

“ Never mind.” 

Etc., etc., etc. 

Meanwhile Mr. Skratdj scolded Mrs. Skratdj 
for not keeping the children in better order. 
And Mrs. Skratdj said it was quite impossible 
to do so when Mn Skratdj spoilt Harry as he 
did, and weakened her (Mrs. Skratdj ’s) authority 
by constant interference. 

Difference of sex gave point to many of these 
nursery squabbles, as it so often does to domes- 
tic broils. 

‘‘ Boys never will do what they ’re asked,” 
Polly would complain. 

“ Girls ask such unreasonable things,” was 
Harry’s retort. 

Not half so unreasonable as the things you 
ask.” 

“ Ah ! that ’s a different thing ! Women have 
got to do what men tell them, whether it ’s rea- 
sonable or not.” 


42 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


No, they ’ve not ! ” said Polly. At least, 
that ’s only husbands and wives.” 

“ All women are inferior animals,” said Harry. 

“ Try ordering Mamma to do what you want, 
and see ! ” said Polly. 

“ Men have got to give orders, and women 
have to obey,” said Harry, falling back on the 
general principle. “ And when I get a wife, I ’ll 
take care I make her do what I tell her. But 
you ’ll have to obey your husband when you get 
one.” 

“ I won’t have a husband, and then I can do 
as I like.” 

“Oh, won’t you.? You’ll try to get one, I 
know. Girls always want to be married.” 

“ I ’m sure I don’t know why,” said Polly ; 
“ they must have had enough of men if they 
have brothers.” 

And so they went on, ad mfiytihimy with 
ceaseless arguments that proved nothing and 
convinced nobody, and a continual stream of 
contradiction that just fell short of downright 
quarreling. 

Indeed, there was a kind of snapping even less 
near to a dispute than in the cases just men- 
tioned. The little Skratdjs, like some other 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


43 


cliildren, were under the unfortunate delusion 
that it sounds clever to hear little boys and girls' 
snap each other up with smart sayings, and okh 
and rather vulgar play upon words, such as : 

“ I ’ll give you a Christmas box. Which ear 
will you have it on ” 

“ I won’t stand it.” 

“ Pray take a chair.” 

“You shall have it to-morrow.” 

“To-morrow never comes.” 

And so if a visitor kindly began to talk to one 
of the children, another was sure to draw near 
and “ take up ” all the first child’s answers, with 
smart comments and catches that sounded as 
silly as they were tiresome and impertinent. 

And ill-mannered as this was, Mr. and Mrs. 
Skratdj never put a stop to it. Indeed, it was 
only a caricature of what they did themselves. 
But they often said, “ We can’t think how it is 
the children are always squabbling ! ” 

The Skratdjs’ Dog and the Hot-tem- 
pered Gentleman. 

It is wonderful how the state of mind of a 
whole household is influenced by the heads of 


44 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


it. Mr. Skratdj was a very kind master, and 
Mrs. Skratdj was a very kind mistress, and yet 
their servants lived in a perpetual fever of 
irritability that fell just short of discontent. 
They jostled each other on the back stairs, said 
harsh things in the pantry, and kept up a per- 
ennial warfare on the subject of the duty of the 
sexes with the general man servant. They gave 
warning on the slightest provocation. 

The very dog was infected by the snapping 
mania. He was not a brave dog, he was not a 
vicious dog, and no high breeding sa'nctioned 
his pretensions to arrogance. But, like his 
owners, he had contracted a bad habit, a trick, 
which made him the pest of all timid visitors, 
and indeed of all visitors whatsoever. 

The moment any one approached the house, 
on certain occasions when he was spoken to, and 
often in no traceable connection with any cause 
at all, Snap, the mongrel, would rush out, and 
bark in his little sharp voice — “Yap! yap! 
yap!"*’ If the visitor made a stand, he would 
bound away sideways on his four little legs ; 
but the moment the visitor went on his way 
again. Snap was at his heels — “ Yap ! yap ! 
yap ! ” He barked at the milkman, the butcher’s 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


45 


boy, and the baker, though he saw them every 
day. He never got used to the washerwoman, 
and she never got used to him. She said he 
“ put her in mind of that there black dog in the 
‘ Pilgrim’s Progress.’ ” He sat at the gate in 
summer, and yapped at every vehicle and every 
pedestrian who ventured to pass on the high 
road. He never but once had the chance of 
barking at burglars ; and then, though he barked 
long and loud, nobody got up, for they said, 
“ It ’s only Snap’s way.” The Skratdjs lost a 
silver teapot, a Stilton cheese, and two electro 
christening mugs, on this occasion ; and Mr. and 
Mrs. Skratdj dispute who it was who discour- 
aged reliance on Snap’s warning to the present 
day. 

One Christmas time, a certain hot-tempered 
gentleman came to visit the Skratdjs, — a tall, 
sandy, energetic young man, who carried his 
own bag from the railway. The bag had been 
crammed rather than packed, after the wont of 
bachelors ; and you could see where the heel of 
a boot distended the leather, and where the 
bottle of shaving-cream lay. 

As he came up to the house, out came Snap 
as usual — “ Yap ! yap! yap I ” Now the gentle- 


46 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


man was very fond of dogs, and had borne this 
greeting some dozen of times from Snap, who 
for his part knew the visitor quite as well as 
the washerwoman, and rather better than the 
butcher’s boy. The gentleman had good, sensi- 
ble, well-behaved dogs of his own, and was 
greatly disgusted with Snap’s conduct. Never- 
theless he spoke kindly to him ; and Snap, who 
had had many a bit from his plate, could not 
help stopping for a minute to lick his hand. 
But no sooner did the gentleman proceed on his 
way, than Snap flew at his heels in the usual 
fashion — 

Yap! Yap! Yap!” 

On which the gentleman — being hot-tempered, 
and one of those people with whom it is (as they 
say) a word and a blow, and the blow first — 
made a dash at Snap, and Snap taking to his 
heels, the gentleman flung his carpet-bag after 
him. The bottle of shaving-cream hit upon a 
stone and was smashed. The heel of the boot 
caught Snap on the back and sent him squeal- 
ing to the kitchen. And h^ never barked at 
that gentleman again. 

If the gentleman disapproved of Snap’s con- 
duct, he still less liked the continual snapping 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


47 



of the Skratdj fam- 
ily themselves. He 
was an old friend 
of Mr. and Mrs. 
Skratdj, however, 
and knew that they 
were really happy 
together, and that 
it was only a bad 
habit which made 
them constantly 
contradict each 
other. It was in 
allusion to their real 
affection for each 
other, and their per- 
petual disputing, 
that he called them 
the “ Snapping Tur- 
tles.” 

When the war of 
words waxed hottest 
at the dinner -table 
between his host 


and hostess, he 
would drive his hands through his shock of sandy 


48 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


hair, and say, with a comical glance out of his 
umber eyes : “ Don’t flirt, my friends. It makes 
a bachelor feel awkward.” 

And neither Mr. nor Mrs. Skratdj could help 
laughing. 

With the little Skratdjs his measures were 
more vigorous. He was very fond of children, 
and a good friend to them. He grudged no 
time or trouble to help them in their games and 
projects, but he would not tolerate their snap- 
ping up each other’s words in his presence. 
He was much more truly kind than many visitors, 
who think it polite to smile at the sauciness and 
forwardness which ignorant vanity leads children 
so often to show off ” before strangers. These 
civil acquaintances only abuse both children and 
parents behind their backs, for the very bad 
habits which they help to encourage. 

The hot-tempered gentleman’s treatment of 
his young friends was very different. One day 
he was talking to Polly, and making some kind 
inquiries about her lessons, to which she was 
replying in a quiet and sensible fashion, when 
up came Master Harry, and began to display his 
wit by comments on the conversation, and by 
snapping at and contradicting his sister’s re- 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


49 


marks, to which she retorted ; and the usual 
snap-dialogue went on as usual. 

“ Then you like music ? ” said the hot-tempered 
gentleman. 



“ Yes, I like it very much,” said Polly. 

“ Oh, do you ? ” Harry broke in. “ Then 
what are you always crying over it for } ” 

’m not always crying over it.” 

“Yes, you are.” 

“ No, I ’m not. I only cry sometimes, when 
I stick fast.” 



50 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


“ Your music must be very sticky, for you’re 
always stuck fast.” 

“ Hold your tongue ! ” said the hot-tempered 
gentleman. 

With what he imagined to be a very waggish 
air, Harry put out his tongue, and held it with 
his finger and thumb. It was unfortunate that 
he had not time to draw it in again before the 
hot-tempered gentleman gave him a stinging 
box on the ear, which brought his teeth rather 
sharply together on the tip of his tongue, which 
was bitten in consequence. 

“ It ’s no \xst speaking,'' said the hot-tempered 
gentleman, driving his hands through his hair. 

Children are like dogs, they are very good 
judges of their real friends. Harry did not like 
the hot-tempered gentleman a bit the less be- 
cause he was obliged to respect and obey him ; 
and all the children welcomed him boisterously 
when he arrived that Christmas which we have 
spoken of in connection with his attack on 
Snap. 

It was on the morning of Christmas eve that 
the china punch-bowl was broken. Mr. Skratdj 
had a warm dispute with Mrs. Skratdj as to 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


51 


whether it had been kept in a safe place ; after 
which both had a brisk encounter with the 
housemaid, who did not know how it happened ; 
and she, flouncing down the back passage, kicked 
Snap, who forthwith flew at the gardener as he 
was bringing in the horseradish for the beef ; 
who, stepping backwards, trod upon the cat ; 
who spit and swore, and went up the pump with 
her tail as big as a fox’s brush. 

To avoid this domestic scene, the hot-tem- 
pered gentleman withdrew to the breakfast-room 
and took up a newspaper. By and by, Harry 
and Polly came in, and they were soon snapping 
comfortably over their own affairs in a corner. 

The hot - tempered gentleman’s umber eyes 
had been looking over the top of his newspaper 
at them for some time, before he called, “ Harry, 
my boy ! ” 

And Harry came up to him. 

“ Show me your tongue, Harry,” said he. 

*‘What for.?” said Harry; ‘‘you’re not a 
doctor.” 

“ Do as I tell you,” said the hot-tempered 
gentleman ; and as Harry saw his hand moving, 
he put his tongue out with all possible haste. 
The hot-tempered gentleman sighed. “ Ah I ” 


52 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


he said in depressed tones ; “ I thought so ! — 
Polly, come and let me look at yours.” 

Polly, who had crept up during this process, 
now put out hers. But the hot-tempered gen- 
tleman looked gloomier still, and shook his 
head. 

What is it ? ” cried both the children, 
“What do you mean ” And they seized the 
tips of their tongues in their fingers, to feel for 
themselves. 

But the hot-tempered gentleman went slowly 
out of the room without answering ; passing his 
hands through his hair, and saying, “ Ah ! 
hum ! ” and nodding with an air of grave fore- 
boding. 

Just as he crossed the threshold, he turned 
back, and put his head into the room. “ Have 
you ever noticed that your tongues are growing 
pointed ” he asked. 

“ No ! ” cried the children with alarm. “ Are 
they 

“ If ever you find them becoming forked,” 
said the gentleman in solemn tones, “let me 
know.” 

With which he departed, gravely shaking his 
head. 


SNAP-DRAGONS. 53 

In the afternoon the children attacked him 
again. 

“ Do tell us what ’s the matter with our 
tongues.” 

“You were snapping and squabbling just as 
usual this morning,” said the hot - tempered 
gentleman. 

“ Well, we forgot,” said Polly. “ We don’t 
mean anything, you know. But never mind that 
now, please. Tell us about our tongues. What 
is going to happen to them ? ” 

“I’m very much afraid,” said the hot-tem- 
pered gentleman, in solemn, measured tones, 
“that you are both of you — fast — going — 
to — the — ” 

“ Dogs ? ” suggested Harry, who was learned 
in cant expressions. 

“ Dogs ! ” said the hot - tempered gentleman, 
driving his hands through his hair. “ Bless your 
life, no ! Nothing half so pleasant ! (That is, 
unless all dogs were like Snap, which mercifully 
they are not.) No, my sad fear is, that you are 
both of you — rapidly — going — to the Snap- 
Dragons! ” 

And not another word would the hot-tem- 
pered gentleman say on the subject. 


54 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


Christmas Eve. 

In the course of a few hours Mr. and Mrs. 
Skratdj recovered their equanimity. The punch 
was brewed in a jug, and tasted quite as good 
as usual. The evening was very lively. There 
were a Christmas tree, Yule cakes, log, and 
candles, furmety, and snap-dragon after supper. 
When the company was tired of the tree, and 
had gained an appetite by the hard exercise 
of stretching to high branches, blowing out 
“ dangerous ” tapers, and cutting ribbon and 
pack-thread in all directions, supper came, with 
its welcome cakes, and furmety, and punch. 
And when furmety somewhat palled upon the 
taste (and it must be admitted to boast more 
sentiment than flavor as a Christmas dish), the 
Yule candles were blown out and both the 
spirits and the palates of the party were stimu- 
lated by the mysterious and pungent pleasures 
of snap-dragon. 

Then, as the hot-tempered gentleman warmed 
his coat tails at the Yule log, a grim smile stole 
over his features as he listened to the sounds 
in the room. In the darkness the blue flames 
leaped and danced, the raisins were snapped and 



“THE HOT-TEMFERED GENTLEMAN WARMED HIS 
COAT TAILS AT THE YULE LOft.” 






SNAP - DRAGONS. 


57 


snatched from hand to hand, scattering frag- 
ments of flame hither and thither. The children 
shouted as the fiery sweetmeats burnt away the 
mawpish taste of the furmety. Mr. Skratdj 
cried that they were spoiling the carpet ; Mrs. 
Skratdj complained that he had spilled some 
brandy on her dress. Mr. Skratdj retorted that 
she should not wear dresses so susceptible of 
damage in the family circle. Mrs. Skratdj re- 
called an old speech of Mr. Skratdj on the sub- 
ject of wearing one’s nice things for the benefit 
of one’s family and not reserving them for 
visitors. Mr. Skratdj remembered that Mrs. 
Skratdj ’s excuse for buying that particular dress 
when she did not need it, was her intention of 
keeping it for the next year. The children dis- 
puted as to the credit for courage and the 
amount of raisins due to each. Snap barked 
furiously at the flames ; and the maids hustled 
each other for good places in the doorway, and 
would not have allowed the man servant to see 
at all, but he looked over their heads. 

“ St ! St ! At it ! At it ! ” chuckled the hot 
tempered gentleman in undertones. And when 
he said this, it seemed as if the voices of Mr. 
and Mrs. Skratdj rose higher in matrimonial rep- 


58 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


artee, and the children’s squabbles became 
louder, and the dog yelped as if he were mad, and 
the maids’ contest was sharper ; whilst the snap- 
dragon flames leaped up and up, and blue fire 
flew about the room like foam. 

At last the raisins were finished, the flames 
were all put out, and the company withdrew to 
the drawing-room. Only Harry lingered. 

“ Come along, Harry,” said the hot-tempered 
gentleman. 

“ Wait a minute,” said Harry. 

You had better come,” said the gentleman. 

“ Why ? ” said Harry. 

“ There ’s nothing to stop for. The raisins are 
eaten, the brandy is burnt out.” 

No, it’s not,” said Harry. 

“ Well, almost. It would be better if it were 
quite out. Now come. It ’s dangerous for a boy 
like you to be alone with the Snap-Dragons 
to-night.” 

“ Fiddlesticks ! ” said Harry. 

“ Go your own way, then ! ” said the hot-tem- 
pered gentleman ; and he bounced out of the 
room, and Harry was left alone. 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


59 


Dancing with the Dragons. 

He crept up to the table, where one little pale 
blue flame flickered in the snap-dragon dish. 

“What a pity it should go out ! ” said Harry. 
At this moment the brandy bottle on the side- 
board caught his eye. 

“Just a little more,” murmured Harry to 
himself ; and he uncorked the bottle, and 
poured a little brandy on to the flame. 

Now, of course, as soon as the brandy touched 
the fire, all the brandy in the bottle blazed up 
at once, and the bottle split to pieces ; and it 
was very fortunate for Harry that he did not 
get seriously hurt. A little of the hot brandy 
did get into his eyes, and made them smart, so 
that he had to shut them for a few seconds. 

But when he opened them again what a sight 
he saw ! All over the room the blue flames 
leaped and danced as they had leaped and danced 
in the soup-plate with the raisins. And Harry 
saw that each successive flame was the fold in 
the long body of a bright -blue Dragon, which 
moved like the body of a snake. And the room 
was full of these Dragons. In the face they were 
like the dragons one sees made of very old blue 


6o 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


and white china ; and they had forked tongues 
like the tongues of serpents. They were most 
beautiful in color, being sky-blue. Lobsters who 
have just changed their coats are very handsome, 
but the violet and indigo of a lobster’s coat is 
nothing to the brilliant sky-blue of a Snap-Dra- 
gon. 

How they leaped about ! They were forever 
leaping over each other like seals at play. But 
if it was “play ” at all with them, it was of a 
very rough kind ; for as they jumped, they 
snapped and barked at each other, and their 
barking was like that of the barking Gnu in the 
Zoological Gardens ; and from time to time they 
tore the hair out of each other’s heads with their 
claws, and scattered it about the floor. And as 
it dropped it was like the flecks of flame people 
shake from their fingers when they are eating 
snap-dragon raisins. 

Harry stood aghast. 

“ What fun ! ” said a voice close by him ; and 
he saw that one of the Dragons was lying near, 
and not joining in the game. He had lost one 
of the forks of his tongue by accident, and could 
not bark for awhile. 

“ I ’m glad you think it funny,” said Harry, 
“ I don’t.” 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


6l 


That’s right. Snap away!” sneered the 
Dragon. “ You ’re a perfect treasure. They ’ll 
take you in with them the third round.” 

“ Not those creatures ? ” cried Harry. 

“ Yes, those creatures. And if I had n’t lost 
my bark, I ’d be the first to lead you off,” said 
the Dragon. “ Oh, the game will exactly suit 
you.” 

“What is it, please.? ” Harry asked. 

“You’d better not say ‘please’ to the 
others,” said the Dragon, “ if you don’t want to 
have all your hair pulled out. The game is this : 
You have always to be jumping over somebody 
else, and you must either talk or bark. If any- 
body speaks to you, you must snap in return. 
I need not explain what snapping is. Yon know. 
If any one by accident gives a civil answer, 
a claw - full of hair is torn out of his head to 
stimulate his brain. Nothing can be funnier.” 

“ I dare say it suits you capitally,” said Harry ; 
“ but I ’m sure we should n’t like it. I mean 
men and women and children. It would n’t do 
for us at all.” 

“Wouldn’t it.?” said the Dragon. “You 
don’t know how many human beings dance with 
Dragons on Christmas eve. If we are kept 


62 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


going in a house till after midnight, we can pull 
people out of their beds, and take them to dance 
in Vesuvius.” 

“ Vesuvius ! ” cried Harry. 

“ Yes, Vesuvius. We come from Italy orig- 
inally, you know. Our skins are the color of 
the Bay of Naples. We live on dry grapes 
and ardent spirits. We have glorious fun in the 
mountain sometimes. Oh ! what snapping, and 
scratching, and tearing ! Delicious ! There are 
times when the squabbling becomes too great, 
and Mother Mountain won’t stand it, and spits 
us all out, and throws cinders after us. But 
this is only at times. We had a charming meet- 
ing last year. So many human beings, and how 
they cafi snap ! It was a choice party. So very 
select. We always have plenty of saucy children, 
and servants. Husbands and wives, too, and quite 
as many of the former as the latter, if not more. 
But besides these, we had two vestry-men, a 
country postmaster, who devoted his talents to 
insulting the public instead of to learning the 
postal regulations, three cabmen and two ‘fares,’ 
two young shop-girls from a Berlin wool shop 
in a town where there was no competition, four 
commercial travellers, six landladies, six Old 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


63 


Bailey lawyers, several widows from almshouses, 
seven single gentlemen, and nine cats, who 
swore at everything; a dozen sulphur -colored 
screaming cockatoos ; a lot of street children 
from a town ; a pack of mongrel curs from the 
colonies, who snapped at the human beings’ 
heels, and five elderly ladies in their Sunday 
bonnets with prayer-books, who had been fight- 
ing for good seats in church.” 

“ Dear me ! ” said Harry. 

“ If you can find nothing sharper to say than 
‘Dear me,’” said the Dragon, “you will fare 
badly, I can tell you. Why, I thought you ’d a 
sharp tongue, but it ’s not forked yet, I see. 
Here they are, however. Off with you ! And 
if you value your curls — snap ! ” 

And before Harry could reply, the Snap- 
Dragons come on their third round, and as they 
passed they swept Harry with them. 

He shuddered as he looked at his companions. 
They were as transparent as shrimps, but of this 
lovely cerulean blue. And as they leaped they 
barked — “ Howf ! Howf ! ” — like barking Gnus ; 
and when they leaped Harry had to leap with 
them. Besides barking, they snapped and 
wrangled with each other ; and in this Harry 
must join also. 


64 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


“ Pleasant, is n’t it ” said one of the blue 
Dragons. 

“ Not at all,” snapped Harry. 

“That’s your bad taste,” snapped the blue 
Dragon. 

“ No, it ’s not ! ” snapped Harry. 

“Then it’s pride and perverseness. You 
want your hair combing.” 

“ Oh, please don’t ! ” shrieked Harry, forget- 
ting himself. On which the Dragon clawed a 
handful of hair out of his head, and Harry 
screamed, and the blue Dragons barked and 
danced. 

“ That made your hair curl, did n’t it asked 
another Dragon, leaping over Harry. 

“That ’s no business of yours,” Harry 
snapped, as well as he could for crying. 

“ It ’s more my pleasure than business,” re- 
torted the Dragon. 

“Keep it to yourself, then,” snapped Harry. 

“ I mean to share it with you, when I get hold 
of your hair,” snapped the Dragon. 

“Wait till you get the chance,” Harry 
snapped, with desperate presence of mind. 

“ Do you know whom you ’re talking to } ” 
roared the Dragon ; and he opened his mouth 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


65 


from ear to ear, and shot out his forked tongue 
in Harry’s face ; and the boy was so frightened 
that he forgot to snap, and cried piteously : 

“ Oh, I beg your pardon, please don’t ! ” 

On- which the blue Dragon clawed another 
handful of hair out of his head, and all the 
Dragons barked as before. 

How long the dreadful game went on Harry 
never exactly knew. Well practised as he was 
in snapping in the nursery, he often failed to 
think of a retort, and paid for his unreadiness 
by the loss of his hair. Oh, how foolish and 
wearisome all this rudeness and snapping now 
seemed to him ! But on he had to go, wondering 
all the time how near it was to twelve o’clock, 
and whether the Snap-Dragons would stay till 
midnight and take him with them to Vesuvius. 

At last, to his joy, it became evident that the 
brandy was coming to an end. The Dragons 
moved slower, they could not leap so high, and 
at last one after another they began to go out. 

“ Oh, if they only all of them get away before 
twelve ! ” thought poor Harry. 

At last there was only one. He and Harry 
jumped about and snapped and barked, and Harry 
was thinking with joy that he was the last, when 


66 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


the clock in the hall gave that whirring sound 
which clocks do before they strike, as if it were 
clearing its throat. 

“ Oh, please go ! ” screamed Harry, in despair. 

The blue Dragon leaped up, and took such a 
clawful of hair out of the boy’s head, that it 
seemed as if part of the skin went, too. But 
that leap was his last. He went out at once, 
vanishing before the first stroke of twelve. And 
Harry was left on his face in the darkness. 

Conclusion. 

When his friends found him there was blood 
on his forehead. Harry thought it was where 
the Dragon had clawed him, but they said it 
was a cut from a fragment of the broken brandy 
bottle. The Dragons had disappeared as com- 
pletely as the brandy. 

Harry was cured of snapping. He had had 
quite enough of it for a lifetime, and the catch 
contradictions of the household now made him 
shudder. Polly had not had the benefit of his 
experiences, and yet she improved also. 

In the first place, snapping, like other kinds 
of quarrelling, requires two parties to it, and 


SNAP - DRAGONS. 


67 


Harry would never be a party to snapping any 
more. And when he gave civil and kind an- 
swers to Polly’s smart speeches, she felt ashamed 
of herself, and did not repeat them. 

In the second place, she heard about the Snap- 
Dragons. Harry told all about it to her and to 
the hot-tempered gentleman. 

‘‘ Now do you think it’s true } ” Polly asked 
the hot-tempered gentleman. 

“ Hum ! Ha ! ” said he, driving his hands 
through his hair. “ You know I warned you 
you were going to the Snap-Dragons.” 

Harry and Polly snubbed “ the little ones ” 
when they snapped, and utterly discountenanced 
snapping in the nursery. The example and ad- 
monitions of elder children are a powerful instru- 
ment of nursery discipline, and before long 
there was not a “ sharp tongue ” among all the 
little Skratdjs. 

But I doubt if the parents ever were cured. I 
don’t know if they heard the story. Besides, 
bad habits are not easily cured when one is old. 

I fear Mr. and Mrs. Skratdj have yet got to 
dance with the Dragons. 




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TINY’S TRICKS AND TOBY’S 


TRICKS 






TINY’S TRICKS AND TOBY’S 
TRICKS 


Tiny. 

“ Oh, Toby, my dear old Toby, you portly 
and princely Pug ! 

“ You know it ’s bad for you to lie in the fen- 
der — Father says that ’s what makes you so 
fat — and I want you to come and sit with me 
on the Kurdistan rug. 

Put your lovely black nose in my lap, and 
I ’ll count your great velvet wrinkles, and com- 
fort you with kisses. 

“ If you ’ll only keep out of the fender — 
Father says you ’ll have a fit if you don’t ! — 
and give good advice to your poor Little Missis. 

‘‘ Father says you are the wisest creature he 
knows, and you are but eight years old, and 
three months ago I was six. 

“ And yet mother says I ’m the silliest little 
girl that she ever met with, because I am always 
picking up tricks. 


72 tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 

“ She does not know where I learnt to stand 
on one leg (unless it was from a goose), but it 
has made one of my shoulders stick out more 
than the other. 



“ It was n’t the goose who taught me to 
whistle up and down stairs. I learnt that last 
holidays from my brother. 

“The baker’s man taught me to put my 
tongue in my cheek when I ’m writing copies, 
for I saw him do it when he was receipting a 
bill. 


tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 73 

“ And I learnt to wrinkle my forehead, and 
squeeze up my eyes, and make faces with my 
lips by imitating the strange doctor who attended 
us when we were ill. 

“ It was Brother Jack himself who showed me 
that the way to squint is to look at both sides 
of your nose. 

“ And then, Toby — would you believe it ? — 
he turned round last holidays and said : ‘ Look 
here. Tiny, if the wind changes when you ’re 
making that face it ’ll stay there, and remember 
you can’t squint properly and keep your eye on 
the weathercock at the same time to see how it 
blows.’ 

“ But boys are so mean ! — and I catch stam- 
mering from his school friend — ‘ Tiit-Uit-tut-tut- 
Tojn* as we call him — but I soon leave it off 
when he goes. 

“ I did not learn stooping and poking out my 
chin from any one ; it came of itself. It is so 
hard to sit up ; but mother says that much my 
worst trick 

Is biting my finger nails ; and I ’ve bitten 
them nearly all down to the quick. 

“ She says if I don’t lose these tricks, and 
leave off learning fresh ones, I shall never 


74 tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 

grow up like our pretty great - great - grand- 
mamma. 

Do you know her, dear Toby ? I don’t 
think you do. I don’t think you ever look at 
pictures, intelligent as you are ! 

“ It ’s the big portrait by Romney, of a 
beautiful lady, sitting beautifully up, with her 
beautiful hands lying in her lap. 

“ Looking over her shoulder, out of lovely 
eyes, with a sweet smile on her lips, in the old 
brocade mother keeps in the chest, and a pretty 
lace cap. 

I should very much like to be like her when 
I grow up to that age ; mother says she was 
twenty-six. 

“ And of course I know she would not have 
looked so nice in her picture if she ’d squinted, 
and wrinkled her forehead, and had one shoulder 
out, and her tongue in her cheek, and a round 
back, and her chin poked, and her fingers all 
swollen with biting ; — but, oh, Toby, you 
clever Pug ! how am I to get rid of my tricks ? 

That is, if I must give them up ; but it 
seems so hard to get into disgrace 

** For doing what comes natural to one, with 
one’s own eyes, ‘and legs, and fingers, and face.” 


tiny's tricks and toby’s tricks. 75 
Toby. 

“ Remove your arms from my neck, Little 
Missis — I feel unusually apoplectic — and let 
me take two or three turns on the rug, 

“ Whilst I turn the matter over in my mind, 
for never was there so puzzled a Pug ! 

“ I am, as your respected Father truly ob- 
serves, a most talented creature. 

“ And as to fit subjects for family portraits 
and personal appearance — from the top of my 
massive brow to the tip of my curly tail, I be- 
lieve myself to be perfect in every feature. 

“ And when my ears are just joined over my 
forehead like a black velvet cap, I ’m reckoned 
the living likeness of a late eminent divine and 
once popular preacher. 

“ Did your great-great-grandmamma ever take 
a prize at a show ? But let that pass — the real 
question is this : 

“ How is it that what I am most highly com- 
mended for, should in your case be taken 
amiss ? 

“ Why am I reckoned the best and cleverest 
of dogs ? Because I ’v^e picked up tricks so 
quickly ever since I was a pup. 


76 tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 

“ And if I could n’t wrinkle my forehead and 
poke out my chin, and grimace at the judges, 
do you suppose I should ever have been — Class 
Pug. P'irst Prize — Champion and Gold Cup ? 

“We have one thing in common — I do 7iot 
find it easy to sit up. 

“ But I learned it, and so will you. I can’t 
imagine worse manners than to put one’s tongue 
in one’s cheek ; as a rule, 1 hang mine gracefully 
out on one side. 

“ And I ’ve no doubt it’s a mistake to gnaw 
your fingers. I gnawed a good deal in my 
puppyhood, but chewing my paws is a trick that 
I never tried. 

“ How you stand on one leg I cannot imagine ; 
with my figure it ’s all I can do to stand upon 
four. 

“ I balance biscuit on my nose. Do you } I 
jump through a hoop (an atrocious trick, my 
dear, after one’s first youth — and a full meal ! ) 
— I bark three cheers for the Queen, and I shut 
the dining-room door. 

“ I lie flat on the floor at the word of com- 
mand — in short, I’ve as many tricks as you 
have, and every one of them counts to my 
credit ; 


tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 77 

“ Whilst yours, so you say, only bring 
you into disgrace, which I could not have 
thought possible if you had not said it. 

“ Indeed — but for the length of my ex- 



perience and the solidity of my judgment — 
this would tempt me to think your mamma a 
very foolish person, and to advise you to disobey 
her ; but I do 7iot, Little Missis, ipr I know 
“ That if you belong to good and kind people. 


y 8 tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 

it is well to let them train you up in the way in 
which they think you should go. 

** Your excellent parents trained me to tricks ; 
and very senseless some of them seemed, I 
must say : 

“ But I ’ve lived to be proud of what I ’ve been 
taught ; and glad, too, that I learned to obey. 

“ P'or, depend upon it, if you never do as 
you ’re told till you know the reason why, or till 
you find that you must ; 

“ You are much less of a Prize Pug than you 
might have been if you ’d taken good govern- 
ment on trust.” 

Take me back to your arms, Little Missis, 
I feel cooler, and calmer in my mind. 

“Yes, there can be no doubt about it. You 
must do what your mother tells you, for you 
know that she ’s wise and kind. 

“You must take as much pains to lose your 
tricks as I took to leatii niiney long ago ; 

“ And we may all live to see you yet — ‘ Class 
Young Lady. First Prize. Gold Medal — of a 
show.’ ” 


TINY^S TRICKS AND TOBy‘s TRICKS. 79 
Tiny. 

V 

“Oh, Toby, my dear old Toby, you wise and 
wonderful Pug ! 

“ Don’t struggle off yet, stay on my knee for 
a bit, you ’ll be much hotter in the fender, and 
I want to give you a great, big hug. 

“ What are you turning round and round for ? 
you ’ll make yourself giddy, Toby. If you ’re 
looking for your tail, it is there, all right. 

“ You can’t see it for yourself because you ’re 
so fat, and because it is curled so tight. 

“ I daresay you could play with it, like kitty, 
when you were a pup, but it must be a long 
time now since you ’ve seen it. 

“ It ’s rather rude of you, Mr. Pug, to lie 
down with your back to me, and to grunt, but 
I know you don’t mean it. 

“ I wanted to hug you, Toby, because I do 
thank you for giving me such good advice, and 
I know every word of it ’s true. 

“ I mean to try hard to follow it, and I ’ll tell 
you what I shall do. 

“ Nurse wants to put bitter stuff on the tips of 
my fingers, to cure me of biting them, and now 
I think I shall let her. 


8o tiny’s tricks and toby’s tricks. 

“ I know they ’re not fit to be seen, but she 
says they would soon become better. 

I mean to keep my hands behind my back 
a good deal till they ’re well, and to hold my 
head up, and turn out my toes ; and every time 
I give way to one of my tricks, I shall go and 
stand (on both legs) before the picture, and con- 
fess it to great-great-grandmamma. 

“Just fancy if I ’ve no tricks left this time 
next year, Toby! Won’t that show how clever 
we are } 

“ I for trying so hard to do what I ’m told, and 
you for being so wise that people will say — 
‘That sensible pug cured that silly little girl 
when not even her mother could mend her.’ 

“ Ah I Bad dog I Where are you slink- 

ing off to } — Oh, Toby, darling I do, do take a 
little of your own good advice, and try to cure 
yourself of lying in the fender 1 ” 


THE END. 


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